Beached Whale Restaurant & Bar

Went here on a wednesday night mid november (non peak time) and waited 1.5 hours for takes away fish and chips. No communication of the delay of food. Everyone around us had also been waiting for 1.5-2 hours. After asking multiple times how much longer this was going to be, we finally got our soggy wrapped food. Took this down to the beach to enjoy, to our surprise the fish was so soggy we couldn’t pick it up with our hands and they were stuck together. Our onion rings were black and over cooked and the hot dog was the same size as an index finger. Staff were lovely but clearly under staffed. Communication when first ordering on timeframes would be a good suggestion. I’ve never left a bad review but we would never return here again.

Had the Hawaiian pizza and it was not good. My wife had a veggie pizza and that was not good either. Very good service and atmosphere. The beer is good too

THE place to grab a beer in kaiteriteri. Solid menu choices, with all the favorites and great pizza. Atmosphere is always good with regular live music.

Great pizza, dessert and drinks.
Awesome atmosphere and amazing customer service. Definitely recommend.

Fantastic food amazing I asked my partner to marry me in beach whale she said yes

Hands down best place to get food

Convenient restaurant by water, good for the family. Mussel noodle soup was delicious. They put the WWC game on for us and closed before it ended, but they let us watch the tv outside so we could finish the game - so cool. Highly recommend a place with service like that!

SHOUT OUT TO ANTHONY J YOU BLOODY LEGEND! Great food great price!
It was super busy Easter weekend 2023 we were staying next door at kaiteri lodge. Ordered takeaways on the phone for our young son went to collect as directed 20mins later to find there had been a tech glitch between the til and kitchen printers so would likely be a further 20mins for a hungry lad to wait. We were very understanding and kind ️ we received a call 15mins later to say our order was ready. Tops to the team and service we will be back!

Maybe the worst restaurant I've ever been to.

$25 roughly for a pizza. The meat lovers was average; there was too much sauce on it and the "caramelized onions" were barely translucent and not even close to being caramelized. And being charged $25, i expected some fresh or homemade elements to accompany the pizza, but none were present.

The chicken and pesto pizza was far and away the worst pizza I've ever bought.the chicken was packaged (not homemade) and was absolutely tasteless. The base sauce was watery and had no flavor (presumably just packaged sauce). The only thing you could taste was the pesto, which there were only about 6 pathetic dabs of on the entire pizza. And of course, the fabled "caramelized onions" were included in the pizza which did absolutely nothing.

The fries were the same as you would get from any other corner fish & chip shop.except instead of $4 for a scoop, they charge you $11 for a bowl.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, i was hit with the Coup de grâce: the chocolate cake.

Based on the food we had received by that time, my expectations were low. But nothing prepared me for a roughly 5 cm squared piece of presumably frozen chocolate brownie, which was dense, tacky, tasteless and almost inedible. The thing costed $16 and was literally 5 mouthfuls. That is, 5 mouthfuls of utter garbage.

I think whats going on is that the owners think they can get away with putting 0 effort into their food and overcharging their customers because they know there is no other place in Kaiteriteri open past 6 or 7pm, and so the customers will dine there regardless of how terrible the food may be.

To all of those reading, please, if you value your money, take the 15 minute drive to Motueka and save yourselves from this absolute joke of a restaurant.

Most impressed with the standard of the takeaway fish and chips. Huge pieces of fish and all beautifully cooked.

I was there for Антон Азаров's incident, sitting right next to him and can confirm he was an abusive customer and his review cannot be trusted. I was actually gonna write a review of TBW but saw this guys negative comments first.

He snatched the pizza off the staff, slammed down cutlery and gave an earful to the others, on what was clearly a busy night at the Beached Whale. The staff were very upfront about the wait times that night and it was on my docket that the ETA was about an hour to an hour and a half.

I certainly hope he doesn't treat his very embarrassed partner the same way at home when he doesn't get things going his way. The couple that consoled him were just as grumpy and entitled.

TBW is the only restaurant in the area open at this time, and was basically serving all of Kaiteriteri with food that night it seemed like, as it was the middle of the long weekend where everyone was on a holiday there dining in and taking away, and it doesnt take a genius to know that kitchen and staff were slammed. It didnt need entitled people like them and the other couple ruining a good experience for others around them.

He was asked not to come back unless he apologised to the staff for how he acted towards them, and when his wife tried to apologise on their behalf, he dragged her out by the arm.

Sit back and have some drinks next time, youre on holiday mate.

To add some more positive notes about what we had the nights we went: The first night we went I had the ribs and wedges, my partner had chowder and the second night I had ribs again (fall off the bone deliciousness!) and my partner had the salt and pepper squid. All very well cooked. The second night food was served in 30mins of ordering, as it was less slammed.

We ordered takeaway pizza and chips. The pizza was disgusting and the chips not much better. Also the base was very thin and burnt. Will not be going back there again!

My husband asked the waitress before we ordered how long the wait was for pizzas, we were told 15mins but ended up waiting over an hour for 1 pizza, garlic bread and a kids meal. It would have been quicker to cook ourselves rather than have a treat out. The pizza was ok, the kids meal was average. Service was extremely slow…would not dine here again.

The pizza was burnt so that's all I could taste. It was on a thin base and the topping was falling off so we had to eat it folded up. The wait time was 1.5 hours by which point we were all getting hungry and cold waiting outside. We went inside to use the toilet and were told to use the outside toilet. We were told after an hour that there would be a long wait-time but it would have been nice to have known that earlier so we could have made other dinner arrangements. One pizza would feed one adult. The staff were friendly:)

Been kicked out at 7 pm while eating with family.the manager told us the table was booked. We set down at 6pm nobody told us table were booked at 7pm. No sign of booking on the table. Food was average. Prices were high, service was slow and food was below average. Won t be back

After waiting for an hour or more for a steak and fish and chips I asked for refund (we were really hungry), was refused without any apologies or sorry. Moreover chef came to us and said I could not allowed here for another day. Thanks to another kiwi customer couple who saw this, came to us to apologise for that service. Actually I felt a bit down, because it wasn't their fault. Anyway big respect to them. On the other hand pizza came in 20 minutes. All this is ridiculous, I worked in busier place, there is no excuse for the overpriced service

60 minute wait on pretty average food. Sorry guys, this place is poorly managed. You need to up your service.

Very cosy on a cold night with the fire going, we had the Lamb Shank followed by the the Sticky Date Pudding with Butterscotch Sause, absolutely fantastic, with top service from the staff, would dine again when next in the area.

Staff were lovely.but pizza was bland I reckon cardboard would have had more taste.lettuce on pizza hmm no flavor from lettuce maybe if they had of used Spinach! The seagull hanging around our table will no doubt get enjoyment outta this pizza
Over priced pizza.

Stunning meal. I had the salt & pepper said and my husband had the ribs. Thoroughly enjoyed them. Will be back next time we return. And we will be back

Would have marked this 4 or even 5 except for the miserly portions of takeaway chips, which seem to get worse each time we go there. Staff are friendly, nice atmosphere.